An interesting but confusing dream

Today I had a fairly lucid dream. In this dream I awoke in a prison located somewhere in London. Apparently, Russia had gone berserk and went on an annexation spree, declaring all nations belong to it, and that anyone who opposes them will be imprisoned and beaten. I challenged people around me and got .. punished (let's just say they made me drop the soap and enjoyed it. I apologised the next day, hoping it wouldn't happen again). Eventually I realise there is a plot to escape. I met up with a few people (4 girls) that had the same plan and eventually agreed to escape with them. The plan was that we'd meet at an agreed location and then rendezvous at a nearby tube station. From there, once we are safe, we will then decide where to go. When we finally make the escape, we head towards one of the tube stations but one of the runaways decided to take their time and go shower. Eventually we reach the tube station - some by bicycles - but as we were escaping, we see a bus approaching and I knew instinctively what this meant: they are coming. I observe the soldiers pouring out of the bus and rushing out as I rushed us as well and told them to leave their shit behind. Unfortunately, 2 of us were caught and left behind.

At this point, I said,"We need to get out of here, France and Germany are close and good allies and wouldn't throw us out.. You girls wouldn't happen to know anyone from those countries, would you?". One of the girls, named Alice, replied,"Well actually, I'm from France. I study there and have a place for the both of you as well. We could recoup there and figure out what's next".

In response, I said,"It's too bad the other two couldn't make it". I couldn't imagine what would happen to them as they would have likely been tortured and imprisoned for information. Luckily (or not), I did not give them the important information detailing the escape.

Finally, the other girl whose name escapes me, speaks up,"Yeah well.. you kinda left them behind". I pondered. I had no choice. If we stayed longer, we would have been caught too, it was a lose-lose situation for us either way. We had to make the hard decision and leave them behind. I choked a little bit,"Not much we could do, really", as we looked towards the view as soldiers walked up with armed weapons and apprehended the girls. We somehow make the journey to France and arrive at Alice's place. She shares a place with this other guy named Vince who was fairly relaxed about the entire situation and they were fairly lax about everything - including letting me walk around in my boxers as I waited for my turn to shower. As night arrives, I inquired on how our living situation was going to be and laughably made a threesome suggestion - which wasn't opposed by anyone. As we headed off to bed, I awoke in my own, realising the entire string of events was a well-lived dream. I wondered what it would be like if I had continued dreaming.

I have a terrible problem

I have a problem.

My problem is I have an over-reliance. An over-reliance that whenever something goes horribly wrong in my life, you're the first person I turn to.

And this isn't good. Despite our closeness, and my affection, I cannot be too over-reliant on you. It just won't end well.

And I know it.

The Thing That Could Not Be

You know, sometimes I wish you were nearby.

Near enough for me to go to you, give you a hug and let everything loose.

But.

I can't.

Sentiments

People used to say that I'm super sentimental. They're not wrong; for as long as I can remember, I had difficulty trusting people. When I started trusting people and opening up to them, they'd often shut me out, and once again, I'd recluse and shut everyone out, and keep to myself. People wonder why I care so much about XYZ or enjoy hanging out with ABC, when it's mostly because when I can be myself around them, I'm happiest. These people have made my life better for as much as I can remember, and despite the differences/dislikes between the two crowds, I always choose the people that make me happy. So, whenever my friends give me things, I am always surprised. Mostly because I've never been the person to "get" things, or be given to, so when I get something, anything. I keep it close to me, because it means so much to me.

I've kept a drawing from my childhood/best-friend when she gave it to me while we were much younger. I've kept so many things, things that people would say are useless, but because it was given to me, from someone I cared, rather than something I spent my own money for, I've kept it, treasured it and loved it for as much as I could. Honestly, I'm a fairly easy person to please. If you even gave me a piece of paper with just a smiley face or something simple, I still would keep it. For me, the value of the gift is not its true value, but the act of giving and the intricate meaning of the gift are its true values.

On that same note, I know some of my friends don't enjoy hanging with a certain XYZ, whom I absolutely hold dear to me as one of the sweetest people in the world. Mostly cause she listens, she's honest, and she's the one I can count on. I have no idea what I'd have done without her these past few years. These past few years for me have been nothing but hell and discomfort, and she's made it all tolerable.

So when people say I'm super sentimental, I'd like to say: I'm not just sentimental, but I'm highly appreciative of the people who've legitimately tried to be there for me. There aren't many of these people, and even less of those that I can count on all the time. I appreciate my friends for the things they've done for me and the times they've been there, and I can honestly say, I will never forget their kindness or them.